DAILY PUNCH April - June 2006
COME DANCING HK STYLE
COURT REPORTING : YOU DECIDE
(Hong Kong Standard 15.6.2006)
(RTHK 15.6.2006)
HAWKING IN HONG KONG
PRESS MANIPULATION UPDATE
Sometimes at the trial of Kevin Egan and Andrew Lam at the District Court in Wanchai one saw the Hong Kong Standard's Albert Wong in conversation with the two criminals, receiving with some respect briefings from either Egan or one of the pair's barristers. Poor Albert seems to have already fallen under the Svengali-like influence of Egan to judge by the severely slanted reports of the day of conviction (12th June 2006) which appeared on the the 13th in the Hong Kong Standard. The reports read like an early attempt at Egan's rehabilitation written by Max Clifford's PR agency:
"Lam faces 7-year jail term (Headline)"
The paper omits to mention that Kevin Egan faces ten years for his conviction.
"Kevin Egan - a former government prosecutor, barrister and current second vice-president of the Foreign Correspondents' Club - walked out of the District Court on bail, free from the ignominy of being accused of his profession's greatest sin."
Criminal convict Egan is not walking free. He is is simply out on bail before sentence. The greatest sin argument is a pure slant on events. Egan's offence was very grave in the circumstances and carries a maximum ten year sentence. As an adjunct to a serious attempt to pervert the course of justice it is difficult to imagine that he will not be disbarred. He must also receive a custodial sentence.
"Egan was spared from the worst- case scenario Monday. But Lam, whose handling of high-profile cases saw him rise to prominence, now seems set for a dramatic fall."
The worst-case scenario for a barrister must be to face a long prison sentence and the prospect of being disbarred after a serious criminal conviction.
"Since then, Egan has developed a passion for fighting the ICAC. He adopts a "Robin Hood approach to fees, doing some cases for free and others for a fortune," a colleague said."
It is not unusual for barristers to work "practically for free" for worthy causes (what they call working at still generous Legal Aid rates) or to have sliding scale of charges. The lionisation of Egan here is pure froth and spin.
Meanwhile, at the South China Morning Post, spin and disinformation takes the form of omitting any mention of the extent of the knowledge of events enjoyed by former Editor David Armstrong (NTSCMP passim), drinking pal of Egan and present at an important party where a key prosecution witness overheard the most damning statements of Mr Lam. Having been strategically kicked upstairs by the SCMP board while the heat was on, Armstrong may now emerge back at his editing role. The SCMP badly needs him.
Strangely, it is left to RTHK - corporately and endemically corrupt, Government-serving, under-funded, illiterate, laconic, lazy and self-censored - to get it right about Egan:
"The district court's chief judge, Barnabus Fung, has found barrister, Kevin Egan, guilty of trying to leak to the media the identity of a suspect who was in the Independent Commission Against Corruption's witness protection programme. Mr Egan could face a maximum jail term of ten years"
Hong Kong media: by their spin shall ye know them.
BISHOP AND SIM CARD WINS STANLEYS
In a unanimous decision, the one-man jury today announced the results of the Stanleys, the internationally renowned awards for impromptu fringe productions. Andrew Lam and his co-writers won most awards but Kevin Egan's efforts in additional material and publicity were heartily recognised in the detailed citation. " I think most of the players just want to go away for a long rest," said Luigi Vercotti, agent and impressario, speaking from his scooter outside the conference hall. " Fortunately, the prize committee agrees with them."
LOOKALIKE
"Has anyone else noticed the stunning resemblance of Asia-friendly Prince Philip, now celebrating his 85th birthday, with the upper class twits of Monty Python fame?"
MARKETING TODAY
(Is there any difference in the size? Ed.)
DESPERATE BARRISTERS
This week : Larry Yeung
The court heard that Yeung, between May 1, 2000 and September 4, 2002, had dishonestly obtained from the University of Hong Kong (HKU) by deception an education, including lectures and tutorials provided to him for the part-time course of Postgraduate Certificate in Laws (the PCLL course).Yeung had falsely represented that he was then employed by a hotel as legal manager, and that his employer had agreed to release him to attend the PCLL course.He had dishonestly failed to disclose to HKU that his genuine employment at that time was a full-time teacher of the then Education Department (ED), the court was told.The court also heard that between February 25, 2001 and July 11, 2002, Yeung had induced ED to grant him no-pay study leave.He had falsely represented that he intended to apply for and use the no-pay study leave to attend a course related to education or relevant to his duties as a teacher employed by ED, and dishonestly omitted to disclose to ED that he had already been admitted to the PCLL course with HKU.
(Source: ICAC, Hong Kong)
IT'S A MAN'S LIFE IN THE HK POLICE
EXPAT OF THE WEEK
LUCKY HEATHER
(Private Eye)
CRISTAL SLAGG
She's everyone's date from Hell
So Dragonair and Cathay at last tie the knot and form the greatest airline the world has ever seen!!! Cristal is always a gal for strategic partnerships!!!! Geddit??!!!??? I may just join up again and get into the cabin with all those hunky businessmen a-sweating and a-drooling over the gorgeous Asian honeys in uniform!!!! Hold on guys!! Cristal is always first with your nuts and moist towelette!!! Geddit!!!???!!!!!
Come off it!!! Who's interested in another grand Asian monopoly in the making!!! Dragonair girl???!! Hopping on a bus in the air with ugly mainlanders and going to hideous Chinese cities like Kunming and Dalian!!! If your pilot can find them!!! Geddit???!!!??? And who wants to be known as a trolley dolley nowadays!!! Woof woof or what!!!! Keep the face mask on, darling...know what I mean???!!!!
And now here it is, Cristal's summer list of hunks she'd most like to harass:
1. Ray Cordiero - You can go all the way with me sweetie, any night. Geddit???!!??
2. Sir Donald Tsang - Get some wham into that confession box baby. Know what I mean??!!!
3. Sir Run Run Shaw - Come on old turtle face, get out the dog penis capsules and let's rock and roll!!!
4. Hong Kong Hemlock - Crazy name, crazy guy???!!!!
SCMP WINS PINOCCHIO AWARD
Missing from the SCMP's front page piece about pollution in the Pearl River Delta this 5th June 2006 is a list of the guilty men who cause all the pollution and other assaults on public health and the environment in the region and in Asia generally through their greed, cronyism and cynicism. People like their owner Robert Kuok and his clan. Apart from a plethora of enterprises in Malaysia, the Kuoks operate in many other countries and regions like Singapore, Thailand, China, Indonesia, Fiji and Australia. Their business interests range from highly polluting and/or environmentally vandalising sugar cane plantations, sugar refineries, flour mills, animal feed plants, oil wells and refineries to finance bolt holes, hideous hotel developments and freight container monolithic eyesores like Kwai Chung. Their contribution to obesity and diabetes in Asia (previously rare or unknown) through the popularisation of refined sugar and wheat flour has been phenomenal as has their contribution to deadly diesel-powered emissions through their relentless dealing with China's diesel oil refineries. The Kuok clan's Shangri-La chain of hotels wipes out whole ecologically priceless areas of Thailand, China and the Philippines in favour of golf courses, swimming pools and sprawling concrete money mines which bring very little benefit to the surrounding population. Go to Cebu for example and see what I mean. The Kuoks are also well-known for underpaying staff, so much so that a few years ago the latter organised one of the biggest strikes ever seen in the placid industry. Obviously the reporters and editors at the Post feel they are being given enough hush money to spike the real story of pollution in Hong Kong: the greed of ruthless hyena billionaires like Mr Kuok and clan.
HEADLINE SUDOKU
HOW TO DO IT: Look at any of the headlines and let your eyes move around the pictures and other headlines so that the meaning of the whole takes shape before your eyes. It's amazing!
(Screen capture from BBC News Front Page, 3rd June 2006)
CLAPPED-OUT ACT OF THE MONTH
Following hard on gigs by practically geriatric Paul Anka and Connie Francis, the Manhattan Transfer graces Hong Kong with its passé cocktail lounge harmony act. When the mainstream tour dates dry up and the royalty cheques get thinner, Hong Kong beckons with its undiscerning audience, fatuous reviewing press and bonus shopping opportunities.
WE ALMOST DIED LAUGHING
They didn't ask us. The "survey" of course (which established mainly that RTHK news was better than Commercial Radio's, not difficult to demonstrate) was done by Timothy Wong, a Chinese University mate of Lau Siu Kai, Peking and Hong Kong Government yes man. Listen in amazement to the atrocious English of this senior Hong Kong academic.
EXPAT OF THE WEEK
WHERE ARE THEY NOW ?
READERS' LETTERS
How on Earth have I managed to overlook this site for so long? A thoroughly entertaining read and a complete waste of my time coming to the office today (and I could have laughed out louder in the privacy of my home). Many thanks - long may it flourish. S.H. ,(Hong Kong).
(A satisfied customer - we should have him stuffed. Ed.)
LOOKALIKE ...
"Has anyone else noticed the stunning resemblance between horribly serious Cannes Palme d' Or winning film director Ken Loach and zany late English comedian Eric Morecambe? Separated at birth? "
... AND LOOKALIKE SPECIAL
Penny Adams writes: "In the case of the Olsen twins, isn't it better if they had been separated at birth?"
THE PERMISSIVE SOCIETY
Perhaps the measure of how much freedom you have is what you can do on a public beach. In Hong Kong you can do precious little.
DESPERATE BARRISTERS
This week : Howard Graber
On Friday, after a morning of having to appear in court to discuss the divorce, Mr. Kissel's divorce lawyer, Howard Graber, said he was baffled as to "why I'm still here representing a deceased person in a divorce case." He said the only explanation he could muster was that Mrs. Kissel or her lawyers must feel that without the divorce and the fraud claim she might lose her place in line and end up behind her late husband's other creditors fighting for the remnants of his estate. Mrs. Kissel's lawyer, Mr. Gaston, said he would not discuss their strategy.Mr. Graber said he planned to file a motion next week to have the case dismissed and a motion to force Mrs. Kissel to pay his fees if the case continues to grind on.
(Source: New York Times)
HEADLINE SUDOKU
Doris Fenby writes : Dear NTSCMP, I now play an interesting game with the headlines sometimes when Jonathan is out writing a new book. You just look at the BBC News Front Page and see the patterns arise. The more I look at Bush and Blair in this one, I can't get away from the idea that any of the headlines could apply to them. And Blair is certainly some sort of cloaking device, on a good day.
PS: Happy birthday to your founding Editor Dr Adams and to that nice daughter of his who has her birthday on the same day. My friend Enid saw them in Stanley stuffing themselves with cake and generally making a nuisance of themselves.
LOOKALIKE
Has anyone else noticed the slight similarity between the real Hong Kong Canal view and and the pictures used by the Hong Kong Tourist Board? Who will be the first tourist to sue them under the Misrepresentation Ordinance?
| Chapter: | 284 | Title: | MISREPRESENTATION ORDINANCE | Gazette Number: | |
| Section: | 7 | Heading: | Application to Crown | Version Date: | 30/06/1997 |
This Ordinance binds the Crown.
It's always worth a try.
SHENZHEN NURSING AWARDS
THE THINGS THEY SAY
"Tseung Kwan O has been one of the fastest-growing new towns in recent years. Community facilities are closely linked to the quality of life for residents. We understand that the provision of community facilities in Tseung Kwan O is still inadequate. We will continue to try our best to create a quality living environment to cater for residents' physical and psychological needs."
Sir Donald Tsang, Governor of Hong Kong, May 23rd 2006
REMAINS OF THE DAY
Littering the cafes and dai pai dongs and street of even Kwai Chung... in 1997 it was BNO passport application forms. Now it is the Bank of China share offering application form. Is there anything more sordid and hilarious than the Hong Kong Lumpenproletariat on the make? What's actually wrong with producing things for a living?
Go to the Hong Kong not-so-secret behaviour code - the Kiasu Alphabet.
ANSON/TSANG DIRTY WEEKEND SHOCK
EXPAT OF THE WEEK
Before he moved to Thailand, Neil was taken to the cleaners by his ' farang wife'. " I had been down the same path as most of the permanent expat community here - married to a fat farang b***ch, house and all my possessions stolen etc." Wishing to move on, but not being one for writing long letters, he sent her this photo instead.
More.
DESPERATE BARRISTERS
This week : Rodney Jameson QC
Psychiatric reports showed Hall had a "deep-seated feeling of inadequacy", but was not mentally ill. "Apart from this desperate defect in his character, he has lived an industrious, law-abiding and thoroughly useful life."
(In mitigation this week for John David Hall, convicted in the UK of five rapes, three kidnappings, two attempted kidnappings and two indecent assaults on girls aged twelve to seventeen. The judge recommended he should never be released.)
FUNNY OLD ENGLAND
(An antidote to Private Eye's Funny Old World column)
A sex slavery cult based on a series of 1960s science fiction novels has been uncovered by police in Darlington. Durham Police discovered the bizarre sect after raiding a home in the area, after receiving complaints that a woman was being held against her will. But a spokesman said the Canadian was a willing participant and the other people involved were consenting adults. The group, called Kaotians, follow the Chronicles of Gor novels which depict a society where women are dominated. The 29-year-old woman is said to have voluntarily attended the sect after finding out about it over the Internet.
THE GUILT OF THE SCMP
What we have said the past two years
(HK Standard, 19th May 2006)
HONG KONG ALWAYS LAGS BEHIND
Interesting developments from the UK of all places where wireless Internet access is to be provided in whole cities, networks provided by lampposts, and which may also give FREE access to the Net in areas of need. What's more it can be environmentally friendly and truly innovative. Our timid and visionless local government in Hong Kong, although yearning for international profile, sits idly by whilst the rest of the world is making umetred web access for all a reality. We have to make do with pathetic "hotspots" and wardriving fumbling for a bit of free bandwidth in the street. But how could it be otherwise when greedy billionaires own all the telephone lines and Internet portals? The numbing short-sighted lobby of Mr Li Ka Shing and clan hovers over our city like a curse.
HERE COMES SUMMER
HONG KONG DA VINCI CODE SHOCK
LOCAL PLAYERS "UP FOR STANLEYS"
Local hit play "The Bishop And The Sim Card", now in its second month before an adoring crowd at the Wanchai Hippodrome, is expected to feature prominently in the internationally famous awards for impromptu fringe productions known as The Stanleys. Several of the cast are expected to be awarded Stanleys at the juryless event, when that is the non-contenders in the cast can "put a sock in it" and "stop playing to the gallery" with "laboured harangues and interpolations", as one seasoned theatre critic remarked yesterday.
HK URBAN HEARTWARMERS
No 1: An illegally parked BMW being towed away in Stanley.
GOLDENBALLS
JAMES TIEN UNITY CALL
DESPERATE BARRISTERS
This week : Ronny Tong
FACT: Ronny Tong earns 100K per day in court. A lot of rice bags.
CINEMA PICK
WHERE ARE THEY NOW ?
EXPAT OF THE WEEK
READERS' LETTERS
Dear Dr. Adams,You have really scraped the bottom of the barrel. How dare you infer that a raunchy airline exists in HK when, as can clearly be observed from the posted photograph, the lady in question is wearing tights. Every red-blooded male knows that fish-net stockings would’ve been much more appropriate. And why are her tits saggingly hanging ¾ down to her belly? Hardly perfect, is it?Apart from that mentioned above, would you introduce me to her?Best Rgds,Fanny-baws.
(The video link below the picture provided the joke. Ed.)
Jokes about Keith Richards recycled through Elton John, cheating British politicos (now that's just as novel!), and witless Cantopop stars. Plus pics of alkie, florid-cheeked, near-prehistoric expats fondling Filipina bar girls. Dr Adams, you 'da man. You slay me, absolutely. So completely over the top. So utterly cheeky. Cutting edge doesn't begin to describe it. And all with a layout that recalls Punch, circa 1962. It just doesn't get any better. Put down the bottle and the mouse and get a life. Por favor. PD, Hong Kong, Shenzhen, Colorado.
(We had no idea Shenzhen was part of Colorado. Ed.)
HOME SERVICE
Bryan Curtis - Head of RTHK "Hospital" Radio 3 and the voice of dishwasher detergent.
You know how it is. You hit the wrong place on the dial (Stanley mercifully has a special frequency for it far away from the BBC's) and you get RTHK Radio 3, recycled radio by deadbeat time servers. But lo and behold, the "Backchat" team have thought of a new way to do even less for the taxpayer. They stay at home and phone in to their own programmes instead of struggling into the studio and sitting in front of the mic. This is what it sounded like on Thursday morning the 11th May 2006 at any rate. Bryan Curtis - oh how synthetic and mindless you sound, but so much better on a telephone line to your own station strangely. We asked Radio 3 if we were mistaken but got no reply from Hugh "Erm ten times a minute but I'm a real professional" Chiverton.
DESPERATE BARRISTERS
This week : Kevin Egan
Wilson said that in Egan's diary, he had noted "Derek Wong, re: release of [suspect]," rather than naming Chui, his alleged client, or Massie and Clement, his instructing solicitors. "You wrote down Derek Wong, because that's who you knew your instructions were coming from and you knew he would be meeting your bill," Wilson said. "That's just absolute fantasy," Egan said. He said when he wrote the entry, he could not remember Chui's name, but Derek Wong had made an impression on him when they met on July 13.
(Source: HK Standard)
READERS' LETTERS
Hi, I am the webmaster of the website Steal It which a style website for the, according to your site, 'ordinary' Katie Leung which is where your image is from. I would just like to say thank you for calling me, and my visiters (sic), 'uniform fetishists' who 'mapping out her vestimentary erogenous zones.' Perhaps you would like to visit this website to understand what we do. Weather (sic) she had worn that uniform or 'the standard passion killer white schoolgirl smock of Hong Kong' we would have put up matches to her outfit.And thank you very much for crediting your source of where you got that picture/where it originated and for doing your research. Regards, Amy
To Whom It May Concern:" My name is Lyndsey, and I'm Amy's friend. As you already know, she is the young lady whom (sic)runs Steal It (a Katie Leung fashion website). The allegations you and your website have placed against Amy, and the users of her website, are not only completely unfounded, but extremely sickening. It is not a 'Uniform Fetish' and you know it, because you had to do the research to figure find that website. Also, credit your sources. Amy and others have worked extremely hard on what you've stolen, and called perverted. What took you 5 minutes to save and upload or hot link, took her weeks to gather, build, and design.As for Amy's lack of spelling, I think it's understandable, when a lowly website has just called you a pervert, for having not only an interest in one of the prettiest Asian-British actresses, but fashion. In short, your website is a load of shit, and I really hope she reports you. She has done nothing wrong, and if you can't see that, maybe it's not Amy and Steal It's users that need the help, it's you. Sincerely, Lyndsey A. Porter
Now... you're the webmaster of a cheap tabloid and you go talking about free speech? not to mention you're a thief, you do not credit the source of your pictures and I very much doubt you took all of them yourself. And that comment on the Katie Leung outfit mach...? How is it erogenous in any way? she's covered from head to toe and walking out of school... Now it takes one to know one and to know if it's erogenous or not you'd have to find it arousing, therefore you have no authority to speak of it (I can't say you don't have the "moral" authority because you don't have any morals to speak of). No one is asking you to stop doing your job but you can't go insulting people you know nothing about, that's not free speech but a violation of OUR human rights, not to mention you totally lack education and common politness. And all the remarks on all the other pictures and articles? They're not funny, but they reflect your sense of humor, of wich you don't have any. -And by the way don't bother telling me I'm insulting you back with this e-mail... it's fair game, you call me a pervert I call you a thief AND a pervert- Elena.
THE CHEATING SOCIETY
School cheating is endemic in Hong Kong. Students have no respect for intellectual property because they are not encouraged to have an intellect. They are encouraged to regurgitate material and rote learn. Tracking cheats (about fifty per cent of work in Hong Kong universities is plagiarised to some extent in my eighteen-year experience) is a thankless task as there is no support given by colleagues who usually cheat themselves in one way or another when producing handouts and student materials. Only a complete idiot would use Internet material for exam purposes. The Examination Authority ought to write its own exam material. It pays its officers enough. The hypocrisy of the people's debate is astounding, like so many public debates in our copy culture Hong Kong.
NEW GERMAN CANNIBAL SHOCK
"Erst kommt das Fressen, dann die Moral" "First food, then morals." Brecht.
"There is no love more sincere than the love of food." Oscar Wilde.
Q: What does German Cannibal Meiwes call Jehovah's Witnesses? A: Free delivery.
"I believe in compulsory cannibalism. If people were forced to eat what they killed, there would be no more wars." Abbie Hoffman.
"BISHOP AND SIM CARD" GETS EXTENDED RUN
The stunning new comedy by Andrew Lam and Kevin Egan was given an extended run by backers yesterday. "Despite the play's many failings, it is played with a sense of real conviction," said a leading critic. Plans are already being made for leading players to appear in Stanley and Lai Chi Kok.
BUN FESTIVAL LATEST
FREUD TO PRACTICE IN CENTRAL
A hundred and fifty years and the crabby old cigar smoker is still in analysis.
HK DISCOVERS BUDDHA'S BIRTHDAY
WHERE ARE THEY NOW ?
MENTAL HEALTH
The List is a HK Magazine offshoot, attractive and well-written in parts but you do have to wonder about its target readership when you read the feature copy and advertisements:
Pet acupuncture now available at Tin Hau Pet Hospital.
Eyebrow and upper-lip threading are both offered at I-SPA for HK$ 165 each.
How should cashmere be looked after during summer?
Sign up now for these Wilton Courses: Cake Decorating, Fondant Fun, Cupcake by Design.
How to hold a lingerie party. During the private party La Nue's lingerie expert will provide a short presentation on how to wear a bra properly.
The Rose Pure Indulgence promises a yummy SE Organic Chocolate and Rose Facial for HK$ 1580.
A whole page feature on "What's In Your Shopping Bag" - Abby Lai reveals "I just love it when I find matching shoes and handbags" and Shelagh the teacher beams: "I have bought a stand for my cook book."
Is this Hong Kong's new satirical bi-monthly? It's FREE.
EXPAT OF THE WEEK
POLICE FIVE
Just think of the facts of this case and believe you're not in Mexico or Indonesia. A police CONSTABLE can steal HK$ 430,000 on 137 occasions from bailees in a police station over a period of a year and more and not be found out. Do they keep records of bail or do they just stuff it into a back pocket? And he can run up gambling debts of HK$ 200,ooo without any kind of compliance or knowledge not to mention reprimand from his superiors. Surely there must be an enquiry here. Or will it be swept under the carpet like so many public scandals in Hong Kong? Does bail money regularly go missing? Where? When? How much? Who looks after it? Does anyone count it, claim it back? What happens when it's a few thousand short?
NEVER MIND THE QUALITY, FEEL THE BOOM
YES, IT'S BIFF A HK COPPER WEEK!
I......................would like to biff a HK Policeman lightly with at least a rolled-up newspaper because:
He/she gave me an illegible stencilled form to fill out at the station instead of doing anything to solve the problem.
He/she asked me for my ID card instead of finding out why I was asking him/her for help.
He/she asked me to report something lost which had in fact been stolen.
He gathered at street corners with three of his/her colleagues demanding identitiy documents from scruffy-looking men instead of moving on ten obnoxious hawkers in the same street.
He/she is by definition friends with Kevin Sinclair.
Other........................................
Your application has been noted and we will report back to you in due course in 2010 if you are lucky. Really serious business wil be referred to the Complaints Against Police Office for obfuscation, copout and delay. Thank you and drive safely.
HK Police Public Relations Unit.
SUGGESTION BOX
After strenuous reearch, NTSCMP is pleased to recommend the following:
1. Red minibus drivers (preferered routes Saikung and Shaukeiwan).
2. Sales assistants in Stanley Market.
3. Daipaidong take-out delivery men (no vacancies).
4. Membership secretaries for DAB.
5. Any Fortress store.
Recommended leisure-time activity and occupational therapy:
6. Open a Hong Kong English Blog.
MAYDAY MAYDAY, MATE
True Asia expert and Australian 1997 survivor Professor Alan Knight is back at his groundbreaking Dateline Hong Kong web site with news of the Hong Kong May Day demo and other insights.
WHY HONG KONG PEOPLE DON'T MAKE GOOD HOSTAGES
1. They ask to stop for last-minute shopping six times on the way to the safe house.
2. There aren't enough power points in the hostage cellar to take all the gadgets.
2. They look too happy on the hostage videos as they are so glad to be away from their relatives for a while.
4. The folks back home are too busy applying for compensation to get the ransom together.
KEITH RICHARDS OFF HIS TREE
His writing is limited to songs for dead blondes. (Keith Richards about Elton John)
I'm glad I've given up drugs and alcohol. It would be awful to be like Keith Richards. He's pathetic. It's like looking at a monkey with arthritis. (Elton John about Keith Richards)
Q:
Do you know what it means if there is drool coming out of both
corners of Keith Richards' mouth?
A: The stage is level.
DESPERATE BARRISTERS
This week : Lawrence Lok
He noted the prosecution has placed emphasis on bank transactions showing Wong financed his girlfriend's legal fees for the court inquiries and then bought her a car just after the alleged conspiracy.
But these transactions are "unexceptional," Lok said. "There's clear evidence that [Wong] was looking after Chui financially," and that Wong's household "are accustomed to handling relatively large amounts of cash."
(Source: HK Standard)
FUNNY OLD ENGLAND
Oh to be in England now that's Bonking Season 's there...
'Lucky we never got caught' mistress says of affair with Deputy Prime Minister
She told the newspaper "we made love in John's office" and that "we were very lucky we never got caught".
She also claims she and Mr Prescott had sex after he took her to an Iraq war memorial service.
Ms Temple alleges they had sex in a hotel while Mr Prescott's wife waited downstairs.
She said regular sexual encounters took place in his office with the door open while other civil servants worked outside.
The deputy prime minister would often interrupt official business to engage in sexual banter, she alleged.
(BBC / Mail on Sunday)
THE THINGS THEY SAY
A state Superior Court judge yesterday dismissed a charge of evading responsibility against murdered backcountry developer Andrew M. Kissel in connection with a one-car accident in 2004.
According to police, Kissel crashed into a guardrail on Lake Avenue on Nov. 6, 2004. He left his car at the scene, and was arrested on a warrant in February 2005.
Judge James Bingham granted the request of Jim Pastore, Kissel's defense attorney in the case, to drop the charges because Kissel was found stabbed to death in the basement of his 10 Dairy Road home on April 3.
(Source: Greenwich Time online 29.4.2006)
AFRICA : NEW ERA DAWNS
LOOKALIKE
Doris Fenby writes: " Has anyone else noticed the complete lack of similarity between the internationally successful and stinking rich Vanessa Mae and that severely local wannabe, triad-related-old-man-loving Canto-crooner Joey Yung, even though the latter is holding a funky violin in the promos for her upcoming concert with the world-famous Moravian Philharmonic no less? Of course they are both titless. But that's beside the point."
THAT
ARSECULLI HONORARY DOCTORAL CITATION IN FULL
Salute te Ronaldo, non est quam judendo soccarensis ludicrisimae, est honorablilis carpetbaggerum ingratientia et subtile, serventia publicensis, multe talentiae et multe handshakia munificens recipientur. Nunc est director grandissimae fiddlae legitima que sunt Exchange Square proxime, arslickans collosus requiere, qui dulce et decorum est Arsecullium nomensis. Salve.
ARMSTRONG "NOT IN SCMP PROTECTIVE CUSTODY" SHOCK
The South China Morning Post has refused to confirm or deny that its former editor has entered into its Asset Protection Scheme and that a fall girl was arranged to take his place in the witness box. "There is no truth that he was kicked upstairs to the board to take the heat off the SCMP during present proceedings involving prominent friends of his and that we made any deal with the Government on this. My lips are sealed and if you want to know about it you should read the relevant Ordinance." I'm sorry. I'll read that again.
NEW BUGGING SHOCK
SPORTS NEWS
The BBC has announced that its boreathon sports programme Grandstand is to end after nearly fifty years.One of its most famous presenters was one Frank Bough, Oxonian and for many "Mr Normal". Bough in fact had a colourful private life which involved taking cocaine and wearing lingerie at sex parties. The cocaine allegations almost completely ended his television career, although he did briefly return to present ITV's coverage of the 1991 rugby World Cup. He also made headlines after being found in an S&M brothel in 1992. Bough, a supporter of Sunderland football club, had a liver transplant in 2001. His name has entered Cockney Rhyming Slang: "I'm Frank Bough" meaning "I'm off". He now lives in quiet retirement.
(Facts from Wikipedia.)
THE INTERNET MAN'S DAY OFF
No news is good news : HK Standard web site 11 am, Tuesday 25th April
You get up at 4 am to take a peak but no update and then at 7 you make your first cup of tea and give it a try. It must be something to do with Internet Explorer you think so at 11 am you call up your nice friend Hemlock and he tells you that the Standard, although owned by a tobacco baron, is so strapped for cash it doesn't really have the staff to update the web site all the time. So much for rolling news. Or is it a preposterous suggestion from the Standard that we should actually buy a copy?
WHY WE SHOULD DUMP SMART ID CARDS
THE QUIET DEATH OF DEMOCRACY by John Pilger
Those who fail to hear these steps on the road to dictatorship should look at the government's plans for ID cards, described in its manifesto as "voluntary". They will be compulsory and worse. An ID card will be different from a driving licence or passport. It will be connected to a database called the NIR (National Identity Register), where your personal details will be stored. These will include your fingerprints, a scan of your iris, your residence status and unlimited other details about your life. If you fail to keep an appointment to be photographed and fingerprinted, you can be fined up to 2,500 pounds.
Every place that sells alcohol or cigarettes, every post office, every pharmacy and every bank will have an NIR terminal where you can be asked to "prove who you are". Each time you swipe it, a record is made at the NIR. This means that the government will know every time you withdraw more than 99 pounds from your bank account. Restaurants and off-licences (liquor stores) will demand that the card is swiped so that they are indemnified from prosecution. Private business will have full access to the NIR. If you apply for a job, your card will have to be swiped. If you want a London Undergound Oyster card, or a supermarket loyalty card, or a telephone line or a mobile phone or an internet account, your card will have to be swiped.
In other words, there will be a record of your movements, your phone records and shopping habits, even the kind of medication you take.
First published in the New Statesman - www.newstateman.co.uk
HK LIFESTYLE PART 98 : BARBECUES
You've managed to get all the chicken franks and pork chops to the beach but the 4Kg bag of charcoal surely demands the supermarket trolley treatment. The supermarket is all of a half a mile away. There's no official barbecue area on the beach down the steps but what the hell. I wonder who took away the trolley from last year. Maybe it's still there where I hid it.
THEATRE NEWS
The
Wanchai Comedy Club presents
In assocation with Crown Topper and Wilson International
Submissions
A new comedy by Kevin Egan and Andrew Lam
THE BISHOP AND THE SIM CARD
Tense courtroom drama interrupted by hilarious comedy as main players forget their lines and have to make it up as they go along. The bishop never appears but his presence is felt and no mistake! Get yourself a hot and frothy and take a pew. This one will run and run.
"Not a dry seat in the house" - HK Standard
Special Guest Non-Appearance by David Armstrong (SCMP)
and starring
Bulldog Drummond - Nicholas Adams
Charles Laughton - Graham Harris
Barbara Windsor - Mary Jean Reimer
Blind Freddy - John McNamara
Caged Tushy - Aaron Nattrass
Kevin Egan - Himself
Twelve Angry Men - The Bar Association
Choreography - ICAC Productions
Security - Gurkhas In Suits
Legal Advice - Massie and Clement
Refreshments - Foreign Correspondents Club
HU DONE IT
THE THINGS THEY SAY
The media frenzy in the USA grows with scant regard to plausibility or to the feelings of the families concerned:
"Do you know last night in bed I could actually see myself pummeling him to death and just enjoying the sensation of each and every shot and then this morning as I pulled out of the garage to go to spin class all I wanted to do was crash into his two Ferraris."
Hayley Kissel, wife of slain Andrew Kissel, in an e-mail.
"I can say it wouldn't have been unusual for him to have done any number of things for Mr. Kissel," Urso said. "Basically if Mr. Kissel wanted something done, Carlos was the guy he would ask."
Attorney Lindy Urso commenting on suggestions that Andrew Kissel's servant carried out a "fake murder".
GOTHIC HORRORS
Just out for my afternoon jog and listening to the Supremes on the AK Mini when out pop these sweetie horrors from the undergrowth near St Stephen's Beach, Stanley. I would have liked to have taken them home but it's not in my exercise regime right now. Is it a new school uniform?
THOSE QUALITY RESTAURANTS
Should we really subsidise and validate something called a Tourism Board which goes round giving certificates of recommendation to trashy fast food public conveniences like McDonalds? The Hong Kong Tourism Board has designated Stanley's noisy beef tallow and animal part emporium McDonalds as a quality restaurant (see certificate above right). How much lobbying and how many free dinners (not at McDonalds I'm sure) did it take for the McDonalds Corporation to secure this accolade? And when is it going to be revoked?
THE SEWER TRAIN MINISTRY OF LOVE
Fresh from the shock of imminent assault at the hand of baton-wielding "assistants", the long-suffering, overcharged MTR passengers, sweating in their subterranean conduits, now have the prospect of having their normal bodily needs such as thirst and hunger pounced upon by a newly trained army of "customer care" police . Can it really be wrong for junior to have a sip of soda or a bite of an apple on the long journey to Disneyland? The MTR has already cowed its passengers into non-defecation and non-micturition on its vast premises and finding a platform seat is a long and arduous task. The handicapped too are never seen in the MTR's purposely wheelchair-hostile marble maze. Why the need for enforcement when the passengers are already so well-behaved? Tyranny of the populace really does begin in the sewers.
CONTEMPT OF PRESS
Egan party-goer and moved sideways SCMP grandee David Armstrong: eagerly awaited in court
Having been accused of contempt in open court during the Conspiracy To Pervert The Course Of Public Justice Trial in Wanchai for daring to suggest that the accused be seated respectfully in the dock rather than leisurely behind their counsel and other henchmen or holding hands in the public gallery, let NTSCMP register also an equal contempt for the way the case is being covered by the English newspapers in Hong Kong. Day after day reports are printed of the prosecution case which pay scant attention to their substance and considerably more to the barrage of character assassination, hurried trump-up sensations and public interest non sequiturs dreamt up by the army of seedy, debauched barristers present for the defence. Even more worrying are the smiling impromptu briefings of the court reporters by the accused. When are we going to see David Armstrong, former Post Editor-in-Chief, take the stand and reveal what was said or intimated during the party at Egan's place shortly before the raids on the newspapers? I really think we should be told.
LETHAL WEAPON IN STANLEY
The nice thing about owning the finger-long 55 gram AK Mobile Mini portable phone is that you always have music in your ears (at present all thirteen of the Heifetz-played main violin concertos) and also an excellent pocket camera to snap those things you always wished to have snapped in years gone by. Here is a man with the sort of camera which cries "professional photographer:" or "cretinous gadgeteer" depending on your mood. I wonder what his portable phone looks like and I won't go into the theory that the bigger the camera, the smaller the...
EARLY WARNING
We all should have had early warning that Jonathan Fenby is out there peddling more pretentious garbage as insti-expert on Asia, all based on living on an expat package in Mid-Levels for a year or two. Speaking for myself I am not an expert on Hong Kong after almost twenty years in the place. I'm still scratching the surface. The arrogance of this silly little hack never ceases to amaze me. Incidentally, Fenby never thanked NTSCMP for giving him early warning that he was going to be ignominiously sacked by the SCMP. Perhaps we should send him a bill.
LAZY SPINELESS JOURNALISM
We ought to be pleased of course that either of our English newspapers brings an article about the scandal of the way Disney underpays its staff but why oh why today do we read an article syndicated from the AFP about the matter? Surely even the underpaid sad souls of the Standard are capable of making a few calls and even perhaps taking the train up to Disneyland to do a little digging? But no. The SCMP and the Standard rely on the AFP and other agencies time and time again for copy on controversial China and even local stories as they can always fall back on the cop-out that they did not write the offending material. As journalists they should hang their heads in shame. Whoever heard of professional journalists in situ having to rely on the wire services for copy about their home town?
ENTER THE FORKED TONGUES OF JUSTICE
You might have thought that we might have been able to breathe a sigh of relief now that the forces of righteousness are taking the stand at the Conspiracy To Pervert The Course Of Public Justice trial in Wanchai. But no. First on the stand was a fourteen-year-long occupier of a seat at the ICAC Operations Dept and we were in for a tough time trying to get straight answers even to comparatively innocuous questions. Such a trail of non sequiturs, dodges, evasions, memory lapses, obfuscations and denials of the bleedin' obvious. This looks an even longer trial than the long one we imagined, unless that is the defence plead that there is no real case to answer and call the prosecution's bluff. It would help in the meantime if the ICAC witnesses could be instructed to lead the way with demonstrating the benefits of a fair society and giving straight answers even to slightly bent questions. If you always tell the truth, you never have to remember anything.
THOSE ENGLISH-SPEAKING UNIVERSITIES
MTR ADMITS USE OF BATONS TO "DIRECT PASSENGERS"
Above: A Station Assistant with baton nowhere near a train door.
The MTR has written to one of our reporters to reply to out objections about the use of intimidating red batons at at least four of its busier stations. Our point is that they are not necessary and constitute an infringement of our ordinary human dignity and are a means of constructive or implied or intended assault. People are entitled to use public transport without being made to feel like cattle or rioters or industrial fodder. Batons are demeaning. This may not be a motive for prosecution. Assault certainly is. This message has not gotten home to the MTR's May Wong, Corporate Relations Manager who admits that " Station Assistants....have been taking a more active role in directing passengers when to board trains and when to stop to wait for the next train". This statement belies the assertion made in the same reply that the batons are "placed horizontally in front of train door openings when the chimes have sounded and the doors are about to close". We have pictured and have observed that this is not the case. The batons are used by the Assistants as they walk along the platform in an openly intimidating way against passengers. Perhaps someone will have to summons the MTR for assault before they get the message and start respecting their passengers' frail and already heavily compromised human dignity.
THOSE CHINA TOUR STONES SONGS IN FULL
Brown Sugar Is In Plentiful Supply Under Socialism With Chinese Characteristics.
Honky Tonk Woman With The False Consciousness Living In Neo-Imperialist Slavery.
Beast Of Burden (WTO Capitalist Roaders And Running Dogs).
Let's Spend The Night Together In Communist Disneyland (Shurely Shome Mishtake?)
(That's enough new song titles for deaf geriatric ignorant gits still on the make.Ed.)
RTHK BALLS
RASPBERRY IN COURT
As a sidebar to our present reports from this case, which are made in the public interest as a bona fide representative of the free online community and as a conscientious review of the veracity of the Hong Kong English press, a tradition we have maintained for ten years, can we protest at the fact that on Tuesday afternoon, in open court, when the Honourable Judge or counsel was actually speaking, one of the defendants in the trial, Kevin Barry Egan, turned to a member of the public gallery and blew him a "raspberry" together with precisely unascertainable insults .This would appear not only to a be a contempt on the face of the court but also to the dignity of the press and the public. He also seemed unworthy in his actions of any special privileges he may have had claim to in our or anyone else's minds. We enter this as a matter of public record.
IN THE ABSENCE OF MOTHER TERESA
It always happens that way. Miss a day in court and something really sensational happens.Well, it was a little on the cards when you consider who we are dealing with. Sadly, our crime correspondent was having a quiet day at home and the other boys of NTSCMP were all drinking, playing with their children or at last updating their own web sites. So we rely - again sadly - on the news reports of the English papers which as we know are always lacking. The first thing which occurs to us is that it would be very nice for the ICAC if suspects in criminal trials, especially conspiracies, told all their intimate details to priests, High Court judges, monks, nuns and passers-by in Central. Unfortunately this is not so. The crooks of the world - not Mr Lam or Mr Egan or Mr Wong of course but let's just suppose - like to talk to molls, spivs, juice men, bag men, hit men, mouthpiece journalists and members of the Family or Firm. Or at least to people they think they can trust, terrify or knock off if it comes to it. So the big questions remain, after all the confusion of cross-examination:
1. Does Mr Nattrass have anything to gain by giving evidence? Does he like life on 35K after 140K and looking behind him for a gun or machete? If he was such a walking liability, why didn't Massie and Clement simply sack him? They didn't it seems until matters came to their present head.
2. If Mr Lam did not trust Ms Raimer, why did he confide to her in the presence of others? If he thought his life was being threatened, why didn't he seek police protection, perhaps as a Protected Witness? Just a thought.
I am sure all these matters will be answered satisfactorily by the defence and we can all go home. All these aspersions couldn't be just a smoke screen to confuse us and waste the court's time, could they? I am certain this is not the case.
ENTER THE DRAGON
NTSCMP cannot agree with the Hong Kong Standard and the South China Morning Post which find (suspiciously enough as usual in unison, maybe they compare notes to save time, who knows) the dates when the status of certain witnesses were officially entered in writing the key point of yesterday's proceedings in the Conspiracy to Pervert The Course of Public Justice trial in Wanchai. AsMagadalen Chow was invited to, they might like to look at the Ordinance to give some depth to their reportage:
CAP 564 WITNESS PROTECTION ORDINANCE
Section
Num: 17 Version Date 09/11/2000
Heading Offences
(1) A person shall not, without lawful authority or reasonable
excuse, disclose information-
(a) about the identity or location of a person who is or has been
a
participant or who has been considered for inclusion in the
witness
protection programme; or
(b) that compromises the security of such a person.
The relevant person was certainly being "considered". The submissions of the defence are surely grapsing at straws, not making points.
Yesterday, celebrity descended upon us with superman lawyer Paul Tse and talk showette Pamela Pak sitting in the gallery and kung fu movie star turned lawyer Mary Jean Reimer in the witness box, today playing a slightly reticent and confused solicitor reluctantly shopping a former colleague. How Mr Lam must regret turning up for half an hour at Grissini's to wish a newly-qualified solicitor well. Talk was of "fixing the ICAC" and getting the story arranged about the lady with the extra SIM card calling from the loo in the middle of the night. It all looked very bad for the defence. Afterwards, more high jinks as Ms Reimer attempted to use the fire escape to evade the huge press photographer with the even bigger camera. But all was to no avail and the intrepid NTSCMP reporter had to open up the fire escape door to let Ms Reimer and media scrum back into the building. Such is public duty. The cross-examination of the witness continues today. Ms Reimer will need all her old kung fu skills to handle the redoubtable Mr Harris
TRIAL UPDATE
Hong Kong has clearly a fine and judicious judiciary. The two trials I have attended recently have been run by judges exemplary in fairness, knowledge, attention span and even flashes of welcome humour. Judge Lunn at the Kissel trial was a rare example of pace and professionalism and the present case before Judge Fung in Wanchai is run with dignity, aplomb and attention to detail. Sad then at the Kissel trial to see so much effort expended by the defence counsel on salacious detail which did very little to help any argument. Similarly today at the Wanchai trial the pornographic habits of Mr Nattrass were gone into yet again to prove a point which must or must not have emerged by now. Old jokes are interesting but it would help matters all round if arguments were concluded instead of being merely reiterated. This looks like a very lengthy trial. PS: Magdalen Chow was practically unassailable. A great display of courage under fire from some very aggressive lines of questioning.
JUST FANCY THAT !
(Hong Kong Standard 29th March 2006)
SCMP WHITEWASH
Above: Kevin Egan and Lam Ping-cheung - fall guys for the SCMP?
Thankfully spared the 6 am knock at the door from the friendly ICAC yesterday morning were the editor and news staff of the South China Morning Post, clearly implicated as much as anyone else in the case of attempting to pervert the course of justice in the Semtech International Holdings affair. After bleating on with unusual hypocrisy about press freedom for a few days following the quite justified raids of the Independent Commission Against Corruption on its offices last summer, the SCMP quickly acted in its best interests and acted to whitewash itself free of blame of naming the terrified witness in at least one Saturday news report .
(NTSCMP 2005)
THOSE ENGLISH-SPEAKING UNIVERSITIES
I-SPY ASIA
CHIRAC REPRISE
THE BLEEDING OBVIOUS : PT 998
Good to know that the SCMP can do the bleeding obvious in foreign news as well. SCMP web site screen capture 23rd March 2006.
BRAVO AARON
HKSAR v Kevin Egan, Andrew Lam et al. in Conspiracy to Pervert the Course of Public Justice, Wanchai
There I was thinking that this was another monumental ICAC cock-up when there now does seem like the beginnings of a prosecution case. The first two prosecution witnesses, one Derek Wong's former secretary (the one who did the work in the office rather than the bedroom) making secret phone calls from the loo in the small hours and a severely frightened solicitor's clerk apologising to the accused for shopping them, did not encourage the distinguished London Silk Mr Wilson or anyone else except the pack of degenerate, purple but vaguely amusing barristers the defence has mustered on its side. Then there was Mr Richard Clement (NTSCMP passim) coming down on the side of his chief barrister and mate Kevin who is now apparently not only not wearing a wig but staying at the house of Mr Clement's bald solicitor partner Mr Massie. There was a long and hilarious attempt to depict Mr Aaron Nattrass, Massie and Clement's former office manager and once good friend of Mr Egan, as a Walter Mitty, degenerate, litigious and mendacious creep but all that has backfired as Mr Nattrass, nursing the flu and recovering from his father's recent death, appears terribly reasonable, convincing, public-spirited and straight in the witness box. Mr Nattrass has given up an easy life on 140K a month working at Massie and Clement for life under government support at 36K, 21K of which he actually sees himself. It's difficult he said to get another job when you turn up at the interview with two armed police escorts. Indeed. Much more a smell of alcohol about the place as the defence takes hurried instructions.
PS: Former Post Editor David "Mogadon Man" Armstrong was a regular at the Egan drinking sessions and was at the party when Lam apparently spilled the beans about it all to Nattrass. Wonder if he will be taking the stand? Surely there are more people than one one at the SCMP who ought to put their hand up over this? Might be an article in it.
PPS: The Hong Kong Standard's court report mentioned Armstrong's presence at the crucial party. The SCMP's did not. Funny that.
SUPPORT MATT PEARCE
Hong Kong needs more amiable loonies willing to dress up in ridiculous costumes and get in people's hair. Unfortunately at present this kind of activity is confined to a few members of the Bar and occasionally the Judiciary and most of the activity is done in open court. Maybe Matt Pearce should read for the CPE or JD. In the meantime, 21 days in the slammer is an outrage even for costumed activists. Free Pearce now.
THAT BLIND FREDDY IN FULL
Criminal barrister Kevin
Egan did not breach a "gagging order" on the goings-on
within a closed-door court hearing, but in any case, it was so
obvious what was happening that "even Blind Freddy would
have known what was going on," the District Court heard.
(Hong Kong Standard, 21st March 2006)
"The bitter truth is that the original Blind Freddy probably wouldn't be the people's choice when it came to crime-fighting...He was Sir Frederick William Pottinger, officer in charge of the Lachlan district during the reign of the bushranger Ben Hall. The convict's success in eluding capture scored Pottinger the nickname "Blind Freddy" among his peers and journalists of the day. Fred was suspended for behaving like an idiot on January 5, 1865, and died a few months later when a pistol accidentally went off in his pocket." (More.)
DOG DUMPING SEASON 2006
More pernicious and certainly more regular in the dog abuse world than the fabled dog poisoner is the annual canine cull on St Stephen's Beach, last home to the dogs dumped in Stanley after the presents of Xmas and Lunar New Year turn from fluffy curiosities into regular entities with inconvenient demands. The poor animals wander about distressed and helpless until they herd together on the hillsides in marauding packs, mating and hunting until, insanely feral and diseased, they at last attract the merciful attention of the dog catchers.
SOCIAL OUTREACH
In front of the social welfare masquerade where Peggy Lam proclaims her closeness to the People at her District Office, we see the true face of neglect and misery on the faces of this perennial club of the wretched which huddles by Wanchai MTR all day every day. Even the dogs are almost toothless in this part of the splendid City of Life.
THE THINGS THEY SAY
"Gerry Adams should not have been on a terror watch list.".
BATON RUDE
It's always Sue A Corporation Week so perhaps someone ought to tell the Mass Transit Railway (MTR) that giving its "Station Assistants" huge glowing red batons to wave around at the travelling public may make them liable for assault: " The tort of assault occurs when an act of one person causes another to believe that they are going to be physically harmed by that person (i.e. that a battery will take place). No physical contact need take place. It is possible for an assault to occur without a battery. It is our opinion that a reasonable person would believe that another person approaching them with a raised large red baton in most circumstances is about to batter them. You should now instruct your staff to do their duties without batons." That will be 100K for the opinion. Thank you MTR. Just think how much money you have saved.
THE BLEEDING CHEEK
Not content with using its own citizens as pawns in a game with the US called "We will release ten dissidents if you go easy on us at the next trade talks", the Chinese Government also uses a neo-colonialist ploy to pressurise the US: they refuse to take back illegal immigrants. They now number 40,00o. One wonders what would happen if the US decided to open up a smallish town in China and dumped 40,000 poor black people there. This kind of thing brings out the John Junor in us all.
TRIAL UPDATE
In Wanchai meanwhile, the trial of trials 2006 was reduced to helpless mirth by yesterday's testimony and above all a question from the Judge. We have all been requested, not ordered, not to reveal any of the cogent details so all I can relate is the picture above which if studied closely enough may provide insights into what lies ahead. Why bother with satellite TV or the boozer when you can listen to a good old Wanchai trial. Grab a seat now. Or words to that effect.
MILOSEVIC LATEST
NEW BUSH PROTEST
SILENCE IN COURT
Always nice to pop along to the District Court Wanchai and bump into old friends like Alexander King, now offering his services to a fraud client after his stunning bout of public duty at the Kissel trial, helping to safely incarcerate the Lady In Black. On the eighth floor before cuddly Barnabas Fung, chief attraction in the cramped courtroom are the ten wigs in evidence, nine shaggy unnatural ones on the barristers, and the beautiful, immaculately tailored and undetectable one on Kevin Egan, one of the accused in this conspiracy to pervert the court of justice trial. So far the trial has had its fair share of laughs and Derek Wong and I had to have a snigger as we heard the second so-called prosecution witness refer to the Hell which is ICAC custody. Am I the only one who senses a certain lack of cooperative spirit from the immunity-from-prosecution witnesses? Perhaps the appearances of Alex Tsui, dismissed from the ICAC for being a bit too friendly with the patriotic triads of Kowloon City, in the public gallery at the beginning of the trial put the witnesses in mind of future happiness and general priorities.